At some point recently, Naomi wanted to hear a story and I wasn’t ready to tell her a real fairy story in all of its gory glory, so I starting making up a story about Julie the Kitty. Julie the Kitty has an Owner, who remains nameless, and the Owner has Parents, and together they go on adventures. Adventures which, one might notice, bear startling resemblances to my own children’s lives. Julie the Kitty goes to the Dentist, or Julie the Kitty is in a Storm.
Tonight, Naomi requested a Julie the Kitty story.
Michael: Which story?
Naomi: Julie the Kitty goes to the Store that Only Sells Chips.
Ah. I’m sure I can mine some plot gold from that one. So, I begin telling her this story. The store, it turns out, has all kinds of chips, and also chip accessories like salsa and plates. Naomi announces that Julie will have several more errands after this.
Michael: Where should they go next?
Naomi: The salsa store.
I guess they needed more salsa. So, off they want to the salsa store, with many different kinds of salsa.
Michael: Where should they go next? [Wait for it, wait for it …]
Naomi: The plate store.
The plate store has big plates, small plates, square plates, round plates, heavy plates, light plates and so on.
Michael: What kind of plates do you think they bought?
Naomi: Invisible plates.
Crate and Barrel has clearly gotten some new inventory since the last time I’ve been there! You’ll be relieved to know that after the plate store, they all went home and went to sleep.
I can’t complain – I was trying to create stories that were soothing rather than dramatic. You want drama, go read Hansel and Gretel -- the unsanitized version. In Naomi’s version of The Three Pigs, the Wolf comes down the chimney and is boiled in the kettle and is eaten by the pigs afterwards.
1 comment:
Wow. I think I like "Julie the Kitty" better than "Hansel and Gretel." How about "Julie The Kitty Goes Horseback Riding"? I've heard of a cat that would ride right up in a saddle on a horse and the horse didn't care! :-)
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